LARGE (300 lbs) PEOPLE SHOULD NOT SWIM

Over the passed few years I have worked at the pool, I have had the privilege of seeing things I in no way ever want to see again.... one individual imparticular.... the individual is the reason we have a weight limit posted on our slide because they thought they could fit their large mass in the tiny hole.........

This individual is the most ornery man you will ever meet in your entire life. ( I would be too if I had to carry around all that weight) He always finds something to complain about, usually our lifeguards. My favorite encounter with him happened a few months ago. I was in the office and I heard a double whistle (we HG have been trained answer to whistles ... much like dogs..) so I went to go see what the "fun" was. The man asked to see the person in charge, and I was the lucky one. I went up and he began to tell me his new complaint. He apparently took time out of his extremely important life to sit and stare at one of my life guards. And in his starring he discovered that the lifeguard was in a "daze" and was not moving his head... or eyes (something most lifeguards do, but would never admit too) He then proceeded to time the life guard and count how many times he moved his EYES. The grand total came to 7. Now yes this is a valid complaint and a good concern...but really come on.... OH I forgot one crucial detail... there were ONLY 3 people in the water... the large man's nephew and the large man (I count him as two people) I know few people who lack a life so much that they find joy in counting how many times a lifeguard moves his eyes... they should discover the world of blogging.....

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3 joys:

1. ANY one that knows me ( or pretends to know me) knows that I love the water. I spend the LARGE majority of my time at a pool and have done so for a VERY long time. If I had it my way and the world was perfect I would never leave the pool setting.

2. FOOD. I love food. I have a very long history with it and I can not go more than on hour with out having an encounter with it. I am however a very picky eater... but anything that includes bread, cheese, potatoes, Marconi I am ALL over it :)

3. (keep in mind these are not in order of importance or most joyful) MY family. Russ travels at least two weeks out of the month making me a single mother... and it sucks... I admire those that do this full time. Having him gone really makes me appreciate him when he is home. I never thought I would admit to missing the mess he leaves in the computer room at night... Korbin is almost a year now and it has gone by so fast. I was so blessed to get such a good natured baby. I cant imagine life with out him and am so grateful i have him in my life.

3 fears:

1. KIDNAPPING : now that I have a kid, I can now recognize the real fear out there of the phyco and sick and twisted people that steal children. Once when Korbin was 3 months I went to the store. He was in the cart behind me and i was looking at something on the shelf (probably food) While I was looking the cart rolled ( nothing more than 5 feet) away. I turned around to grab the cart and discovered it was not where I left it. I immediately paniced. Yes he was only not in my presence for a matter of 2 sec, but that was the longest two sec of my life. That was by far the WORST feeling of my life. I cant imagine having that feeling for the rest of my life.

2. Not having any money on my card. Even though I always have money in the bank, and i have that protection plan where it will just take money out of my savings. I am always fearful that my card will decline at the check out in Walmart with forty people in line behind me and my child screaming...

3. BEING LATE : I HATE being late. This is way I am always a good 20 min (ish) early for EVERYTHING. I have been known to drive around the block a gazillion times so I am not extremely early...

3 goals:

1. Not go insane next year with student teaching, working and being a "single-mom"

2. STOP PROCRASTINATING

3. Return to my pre prego weight..............................

3 things you didn't know

1. I am allergic to salad....... Russ still doesn't believe me..but lettuce makes my lips/tongue like crazy... any type of vegetables does this.. I SWEAR! but for those of you who think i can not live with out eating my veggies IS WRONG.. i am living proof.. AND I even made a VERY healthy child doing it!

2. CLUTTER I hate clutter, which is why my house is clutter free.....

3. I AM EXTREMELY shy (if you don't believe me watch me around new people... or situations)

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The discovery of stairs

So the other day I was upstairs spotbotting (an amazing hand held carpet cleaner) and my child was content downstairs playing in the dog water. It wasn't too long until I noticed that Korbin had magically appeared upstairs trying to stand up on me and smiling ear to ear... I was deeply confused for a good 5 min. until I figured out that my child had mastered the art of crawling up stairs in one try apparently. So I decided to time him to see how long it would take him to climb both flights of stairs.. less than 2 min... I am sure that is a world record of some sort... Unfortunately he thinks climbing stairs is the new best thing to do with his spare time... I guess it's time to invest in a baby gate...dang

A Long Two Years

Those of you who have been around me the past two years know that I have been counting down the day till I got a new phone... Two years ago I gave in and got a "cheap" phone because I didn't want to deal with having the same phone that everyone else had (the pink razor.) Because of this choice I have had to deal with the moron phone.. two moron phones for that matter... the original phone I got, mysteriously fell into a glass of water off the bed at 2:30 in the morning ( I blame the husband.. I was fast asleep when he came to bed and knocked it into the water.. he denys this claim however...) So I did what most cheap people do.. head to EBay and bought a phone for 5$ to last me a whole year. Well this phone was worth the whole 5 $ and nothing more... it did however serve as a nice toy for Korbin. It entertained him for hours on end. But entertaining also took its toll on the 5 $ phone. So my crappy, cheap, ghetto, retard phone is no more and has been put away..far far away. So here's to the new phone... may you never find your way into a glass of water at 2:30 in the morning or into the mouth of a young child :)